11-The Twist

11

The Twist

Hank pulled up to the upscale house around 7:00 pm.  The sun was at its decline and shadows played across the Ohio landscape.  Inside, Sidney would be waiting, disguised as Savannah, of course.  She would be ready to close the deal.

Hank was happy about that.  He wanted his pay day and a little rest, but most of all, he wanted to stop having to do this stupid country accent.

Bob sat in the passenger seat, clutching his disheveled suitcase to his chest as if it were a teddy bear.  They had done a number on him.  Bob looked ready to crack.

Hank got out and walked around the car to Bob’s side.  He opened Bob’s door and basically dragged the man out.  Hank got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.  He didn’t like seeing Bob this worked up.  A guy in Bob’s state of mind can become a wildcard.

Hank walked Bob into the lavish house where the mock poker game that had cost him everything, had gone down.  Sidney would be waiting at the table in the game room. Hank directed Bob in the right direction and they found Sidney, back in the blonde wig and high heels, the southern belle look having returned.  She was playing solitaire at the opposite end of the table.

Sidney looked up and smiled, speaking with the Savannah accent.  “Good evening, Mr. Stanoski.  So lovely to see you again.  Please have a seat.”

Stanoski didn’t move.  He was still clutching the suitcase.

Sidney frowned.  “Marshall, would you please make Mr. Stanoski comfortable?”

Hank ripped the case out of Bob’s hands and he made a small, child-like whimper.  Hank then put his hand on Bob’s shoulder and sat him in the chair opposite Sidney.  Bob was visibly shaken and covered in his own sweat.

Hank took a step back but never took his eyes off of Bob.

“I’m glad you could join me,” Sidney began, her eyes going to the suitcase then back to Bob.  “It seems you have somewhere to be?”

Bob stammered, trying to explain but Sidney silenced him with the raising of her hand.  “No worries, Mr. Stanoski.  After we settle our little debt, you can do whatever you want.”

Sidney nodded to Hank and that was his cue.  He moved up behind Bob and reached over his shoulder placing the deed on the table.  He then slapped a pen down.

“Sign the deed and our work here is done,” Sidney said.

Bob nodded and picked up the pen.  He took a quick glance over the document and seemed to notice something strange in the text.

Bob stopped and looked confused.  “Who’s Sidney Thompson?”

Sidney frowned.  “Do I need to explain myself, Mr. Stanoski?  I did just save you from that colored fellow, didn’t I?”

Bob nodded.  “Of course, I was just wondering is all.  I mean when I sign this, it says she gets the store, not you.”

“If you must know,” Sidney answered.  “It’s an alias I use in order to avoid taxes.”

Bob nodded again and then took a deep breath and signed the deed.

Hank exhaled.  It was done.  All he had to do now was-

“You fucking whore!”  Hank spun as Tobias stormed into the room.

Sidney’s face contorted into shock.  Bob jumped out of his chair.

“You just couldn’t resist, could you?!”  Tobias yelled as he walked around the table pointing his finger like a loaded gun.

Hank was completely lost as to what to do.  What was Tobias doing?

“What the hell are you doing here?!”  Bob yelled at Tobias.

Tobias spun his head towards Bob with fire burning in his eyes.  “Shut the fuck up, Bob!”

Tobias reeled back toward Sidney, who looked horrified as her entire plan and everything the three of them had worked for, began to fall around them like a house of cards.

Sidney tried to continue her Savannah impersonation.  “Why Tobias, what is the meaning of this outburst?”

Tobias scrunched up his face in angry disgust.  “Oh cut the fucking act, would you?”

Sidney lost her accent.  “What in the name of God are you doing, Tobias?”

Bob’s face began to twist into one of rage.  “What happened to your accent?  How do you know Tobias?”

Tobias ignored Bob, instead focusing on his partner in crime.  “You cut me out of the restaurant, didn’t you?”

Sidney was taken aback.  “What?”

Tobias noticed the deed on the table and gave Sidney a disapproving look.  “This is it, isn’t it?”

“Tobias, wait!” Sidney cried as Tobias picked it up and looked it over.

Reading it confirmed his suspicions and he turned and hurled the deed at her.  “You fucking bitch!”

Sidney finally looked guilty.  “How did you know?”

Tobias shook his head.  “I just know ‘cuase I know you.  After all we have been through, I should have been here for the final play.  When you told me to stay home, I knew it meant you were going to do something you didn’t want me to see.  God damn it, Sid.  After all these years I thought our friendship was the one rule you wouldn’t break.”

Sidney became angry.  “Oh fuck you, Bias!  I did hold that rule dear, above all else.  You were the one person I would never cheat.  That was, until you cheated me!”

Tobias now looked guilty and Sidney advanced.  “You vanished into thin air for a fucking year!  Then you come back because you need me?!  Well fuck you!  You are not vanishing again, because I just became your boss!”

Hank stared in awe of what he was witnessing in front of him.  How had it come to this.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Bob screamed so loud his voice cracked.

Both Tobias and Sidney turned and yelled back in eerie unison.  “Shut the fuck up, Bob!”

“NO!” Bob suddenly pulled out the gun from the back of his pants and the room went quiet as Bob nervously pointed the gun.  “What the fuck is going on?”

“Okay.”  Sidney’s voice got calm as she held her hands in a non-threatening, non-violent way.  “Calm down, okay?  I’ll explain.”

“Fuck you, bitch!”  Bob screamed.  “You have been trying to fuck me over this whole time.  You’re in bed with that fag shit over there, right?!  RIGHT?!”

As Bob screamed, he moved the gun constantly back and forth between the two of them.  He had seemed to forget about Hank who was trying to move up on Bob’s right, very slowly so as not to be noticed.

“You know what?” Tobias suddenly chimed in.  “Fuck you, Bob.”

Everybody’s eyes went to Tobias who was staring at Bob.  “That’s right.  Fuck you, Bob.”

“I, will fucking kill you!” Bob screamed.

Tobias shrugged that off.  “The hell you will.  You’re all talk and always have been, ain’t that right?”

“What are you doing?” Sidney whispered angrily.

Tobias ignored her, pulling out a smoke and lighting up.  “Shoot, then.”

Everyone in the room said ‘What?’ at the same time.

Tobias continued.  “I lost the one thing I was in this for.  I broke my promise to my fiancé more times than I can count, so fuck you Bob.  Shoot me!  But let’s face it, that ain’t going to happen.”

“Shut up!” Bob yelped.

Tobias continued.  “You see, Bob’s always about the easy way out, and killing a man is the hard way.  He doesn’t have the stomach for it.”

“I said, shut up!” Bob screamed again.

Tobias was un-relenting.  “He doesn’t have the balls.  That’s right, Bob.  That’s why your wife left you.”

Bob’s eye twitched.  “You fucking bastard…”

Tobias’s voice got low and serious.  “And deep down inside, Bob knows that is why his kid hates him too.”

“You bastard!”  Bob screamed.

Hank saw the crazed look in Bob’s eye and knew it was now or never.

Bob pulled the trigger.  The gun fired a single shot.

In the same second, Hank slapped the gun away and cracked Bob in the side of the face with a brutal right hand.  Bob spun and sprawled onto the floor.

Hank turned and felt his stomach drop.

Sidney fell backwards into Tobias, blood pouring from the gunshot wound in her chest.

Sidney had taken the bullet for Tobias.

“No.  No, Sid.  Come on.  NO!”  Tobias sputtered as he caught Sidney and fell backward with her.  He ended up sitting on the ground, Sidney’s head in his lap.

Bob shook off the punch, blood running down from his lip and he looked over, his face contorting to horror at what he had done.

“Stay with me, Kitty.  Come on Sid, you gotta’ stay with me!”  Tobias was panicking as he watched the blood pump out of her heart through the hole in her chest and onto the floor.

 Sidney looked up weakly.  “Sorry, Bias…”

Sidney closed her eyes.

“No, Sid,” Tobias said, trying not to weep.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

Hank took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair as he watched the scene.  How had it come to this?  How had this all gone so bad?  Sidney was dead.  No one had the store or any money.  Hank heard a desperate Bob muttering to himself, scramble to his suitcase and then out of the room and out of the house.

“Oh god, Tobias,” Hank whispered.  “I’m sorry man.”

Tobias looked up at him from Sidney’s dead body, taking a drag on his cigarette and blowing it into the air.  “No Hank, I’m sorry.”

“You fucking should be, that thing smells awful. ”Sidney suddenly said as her eyes popped back open.

Tobias suddenly grinned like a cat.

Hank’s face became one of confusion.  “What the fuck?”

Sidney coughed.  “Seriously, dick monger, get that thing out of my face!”

Sidney stood up and dusted herself off, the blood still seeming to pump from her chest.

Tobias stood and noticed the blood on his suit pants.  “Awe fuck, these are ruined now!”

Sidney frowned at him.  “Really?  We own a restaurant and you’re worried about your pants?”

“What the fuck is going on?”  Hank suddenly broke in, still confused, watching a zombie-like Sidney walk and make jokes.

Tobias turned and did a mock face of pain. “Jeez, Hank.  I’m sorry about this, but we needed your reaction to be sincere.”

Hank seemed to begin to understand what was happening.  “Oh, fuck you guys!”

Sidney laughed.

Tobias continued to explain.  “You see, we wanted Bob gone after this, and gone for good.  If he hangs around, there is a chance that Leroy or his boys eventually find out who did them in and we would be up shit creek.”

Hank shook his head.  “But he shot her?!”

“Movie magic.”  Tobias said and strutted over to Hank, pulling six .38 caliber bullets from his pocket and handing them to Hank.  “I’m a thief, remember?  What do you think I was doing while Bob was being interviewed by the cops?  I snuck into his house and found his gun.  I then replaced those bullets with blanks.”

Sidney decided to take over.  “I rigged a little corn syrup blood splatter and set it off when Bob fired.”

Hank shook his head.  “He was packed already.  He was already leaving.  Why go through the trouble?”

“He was leaving to lay low for a while,” Sidney said.  “We wanted him gone for good.  He thinks he killed me, he’ll be in Mexico before we get home.”

Hank shook his head in amazement.  “But how’d you know he had a gun?”

Tobias laughed.  “People in bed with Leroy Simpson have guns.”

Sidney tapped Hank on the cheek.  “Oh come on Hank, don’t be mad.  We just pulled it off!”

Hank nodded.  “Yeah, I guess we did.”

****

Sidney was sitting on the back porch of the house looking up at the clear night sky.  Her friend in real estate had loaned her the house for one more night.  Tobias walked out and took a seat in the chair next to her, while, at the same time, handing her a scotch.

Tobias had poured himself a beer.

“To the suckers.”  Sidney said as she extended her glass to toast.

The “to the suckers” toast, had been a tradition between her and Tobias, after each successful con.  It began after they had impersonated boat owners to get a $200 meal for free at a local yacht club.  Sidney had raised her glass and said, “To the suckers of the world, because without them, we’d be out of work.”

It had since been shortened.

Tobias smiled and met her glass with his own.  “To the suckers.”

They then drank in silence, which was rare for them but occasionally they just enjoyed the silence.  Finally, Tobias put his empty glass down.

“Alright I have to get home to my future wife.  Tomorrow we can transfer the deed to me,” Tobias said as he stood.

Sidney scoffed, “As if.  You thought I was kidding?”

Tobias turned and raised an eyebrow, “Don’t be a bitch.”

“Too late,” Sidney said with a smile.  “You’re not ditching me again.  I am officially your new boss.”

Tobias became frustrated.  “Come on Sid.  You can’t-”

Sidney cut him off.  “Plus, if I have a steady income, I might not have to be so bad anymore.”

Tobias took a deep breath and let it go.  “I have to ask, would you have really taken the bullet for me?”

“I want to meet your wife.”  Sidney said suddenly, avoiding the question.  “I want her to know about me.”

Tobias nodded.  “That can be arranged.”

Tobias turned and began to walk toward the front of the house.  Sidney stood.  “Bias?”

Tobias stopped and turned.

Sidney thought about what she wanted to say then smiled.  “We’re all good, Bias.  We’re just not all as okay with it as you are.”

Sidney winked at Tobias who just laughed and walked away.

END SEASON 1

10- The Turn

10

The Turn

Leroy stood at the desk while the clerk and cute blond woman, named Melissa, took the deed into the back to be verified.  His jaw worked in irritation as the child in line behind him, once again bumped into the back of his leg.

He slowly turned, his face contorted in rage.  Behind him was the remainder of the line in the court house waiting to do whatever business they had come to do.  No one looked happy.

The child running into the back of his leg was a boy, about eight years old.  He was looking up at Leroy and grinning.  It was at this precise moment that Leroy realized that the child was bumping into him on purpose.

Leroy’s eyes shifted to the mother who had seen it all go down and looked like she couldn’t care less.  When he stared at her she stared back angrily and said, “What?”

Leroy briefly thought about reaching out and breaking the woman’s neck, but decided restraint was the smarter play.  Instead, he turned around and continued to wait.

The child bumped into the back of his knee again.

Leroy growled.

Leroy’s phone started buzzing in his pocket, disregarding the clearly marked ‘No Cell Phone’ sign, he took the phone out of his pocket and checked the number.

It was unrecognizable.  His eyes narrowed and he answered it. This caused uproar among the courthouse patrons, who all started griping and moaning at the same time.  Leroy could hear that the voice on the other end was Ernie but he couldn’t make out what he was saying thanks to the near deafening amount of whining going on around him.

Ernie was trying to say something but no matter how hard Leroy tried, he couldn’t make out a word.  Finally, he told Ernie to hold on then shouted, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

His deep resounding voice silenced the crowd instantly.  One man, halfway down the line stepped out.  “Hey you can’t talk on your cell phone, ASSHOLE!”

He was a small, skinny, white guy with glasses and was wearing disheveled office room clothes.  Leroy had to give the unimpressive man credit for the balls that took to talk back to him.  Business had to be taken care of, however.  Leroy walked over to the man who managed to stand his ground.

“You can’t do anything to me, so you shut up!”  The very repressed white guy said as he poked Leroy in the chest.

Leroy grabbed his finger and broke it.

The man’s face of steel and rage turned to that of a wounded child.  Instead of the loud scream that Leroy expected, he instead just did this silent open mouth mock yell and stared at his finger before dropping to his knees to hold it.  Tears streamed down his face.

Leroy scanned the rest of the line.  The couple waiting for the marriage license stumbled backward and out of the office.  Everybody else was silent.  Leroy nodded and walked back to the head of the line before bringing the phone to his ear.

The child bumped into the back of his knee again.

“ONE MORE TIME, KID!”  Leroy spun around and yelled at the kid who just grinned back at him.

Leroy went back to the phone still eyeballing the kid.  “Ernie, what’s going on?  Where the fuck are you calling from?”

“Time’s almost up boss, you have to listen.”  Ernie said, obviously talking fast.  “Me and Bert are in jail.”

“Jail?!  What the fuck happened?” Leroy cut him off, confused.

“Just listen, boss.  It’s all a set up.  We have been set up.  Bob had muscle and took us by surprise and…” Ernie was cut short.  The jail had cut the line.  He had run out of time.

Leroy looked unnerved.  Had Bob really pulled one over on him?  Had Leroy really been beaten by some loser gambler?

“Excuse me, sir?”  The cute clerk had returned.

Leroy turned back toward the counter and she smiled.  “There’re no cell phones allowed in here.”

Leroy took a deep breath and gritted his teeth.  “Of course, so is my deed recorded?”

The clerk did this sympathetic pained face.  “About that… I can’t record this.”

Leroy leaned in over the counter, his voice low and almost a growl.  “Why?”

The clerk raised her eyebrow, seemingly un-phased by Leroy’s threatening manner. “Because, it’s not a deed.”

“Looks like a deed to me.” Leroy said, on the verge of exploding.

The clerk’s eyes narrowed.  “You don’t deal with a lot of documents, do you?”

Leroy exhaled loudly.  “You need to file this.”

“This is a copy, not an original document.  You need the original, sir.”  The clerk responded, losing her patience.

Leroy pounded the desk with his fist, startling the clerk and all the people in line, “You’re not listening to me!”

The clerk’s face scrunched up.  “No, you’re not listening.  That is not a deed.  That is a copy, and you are lucky I don’t have you arrested for fraud!  So, with all due respect sir, you can go pound salt!”

The child bumped into the back of his knee again.

“Holy shit, kid!” Leroy spun around and he saw the uniform cops.  Three of them were standing between him and the door.

The cops were at the ready and had their hands on the butts of their pistols.  They were staring at him and moving toward him slowly.

The head cop raised his voice.  “Leroy Simpson, we have a warrant for your arrest for the crimes of extortion and illegal gambling.”

Leroy put his hands out to his sides and knew without a doubt that the game was over. Someone had set him up, and set him up good.  Leroy knew it wasn’t Bob.  Bob couldn’t have pulled this off so smoothly.

Leroy looked down as the cops approached, and saw that damn child grinning at him.

“I told you, kid.”  Leroy said.

Just before the cops got to him, he drove his knee into the kids face and sent him sprawling across the floor.

****

Bob was packing.

When someone takes a vacation or goes out of town for an extended period of time, they pack. Usually in an orderly fashion, they decide what they will need while away and in a neat and orderly fashion they strategically place these items into their luggage.  They would put clothes with clothes, food with food, and their tooth brushes with soap and other bathroom supplies etc. etc.

This was not how Bob was packing.

Bob’s packing came out of a guttural and desperate need to survive.  He believed now that the only way to do this was to run.  He was not sure where he was going to run to, how far, or even for how long.

He had not thought this far ahead.

He just knew that he had to run.  Run until he felt safe.

So, Bob packed as if he was on one of those shopping game shows.  He sprinted through his rooms, a suitcase in one hand, ripping things off hangers and tearing open drawers before shoving them in.

Bob packed hard.

Bob was sweating, he packed so hard.

After three hours of statements and unanswerable questions from the police, they had finally released him.  This was only after accusing him of nearly ten different crimes and interrogating him as to how he had managed to take down the extortionists by himself.

They had questioned him about everything, his debt, where he had gotten money for the restaurant and how he ended up in bed with Leroy.  He had left the restaurant out of it, of course, not wanting to get into more trouble with Savannah.  Instead, he stuck to what he was told and informed the police only of his gambling debt to Leroy and the fact that Leroy had sent Bert and Ernie to collect.

Now, everything was coming down.  He couldn’t take it anymore.  He had gotten caught between two loan sharks and the police.  He had no money, his house was about to be foreclosed upon and someone would claim the restaurant.

It was time to go.

His bag was packed.  He closed it and half zipped it up, his belongings still dangling out the side.  He dropped down next to his bed and reached under for a small lock box.  He popped it open to reveal his last insurance policy.

A small snub nose .38 caliber revolver.

Bob slipped it into the back of his pants then dropped his T-shirt over it, concealing the weapon.  He picked up his suit case, jogged down the stairs and ripped open the door.

Bob then screamed out loud.

Hank was standing in the doorway.  “Going somewhere?”

“No, I mean, I was…” Bob stammered, as Hank stared.

Hank was covered in bruises.  His eye and lip were swollen and somehow this only served to make him more intimidating.  This was enhanced, primarily by the fact that Bob had watched him tear Bert and Ernie to shreds that morning.

“How are you standing?”  Bob asked as part of a knee jerk reaction to Hank’s appearance.

Hank spit a wad of nasty chew onto the porch.  “With my legs.”

Hank reached out and grabbed the back of Bob’s scrawny neck, leading him back to his car.  “Come on, Bob.  It’s time for the victory celebration.”

End episode 10

9-The Fight

9

The Fight

Bob snapped awake on the couch to the sounds of gunshots and screams.  It took him a moment to realize that the sounds were coming from the T.V. he had left on.  He had fallen asleep on the couch again.  He sighed and ran his hand over his bald head.  The stress was getting to him.  He just wanted this all to be over.

He felt the tell tale urge in his groin, and he pulled himself off the couch and stumbled over the coffee table.  He moved into the barren kitchen with nothing but a card table, refrigerator and a chair left in it.  The bitch had taken everything.  He unzipped and felt sweet relief as his bladder began to evacuate into the toilet.

That’s when he heard the crash.

It was as loud as an explosion.  The sound of wood being shattered echoed through the house.  Bob finished quickly and zipped up, positive that noise hadn’t come from the T.V., he stepped out of the bathroom and into his kitchen.

 The blow hit him on his right side with such force he completely lost is footing and crashed through one of the only pieces of furniture he still owned.

“Tried to fuck the wrong guy, you little bitch!”  Ernie growled the words.

Bob tried to regain his footing and felt Burt’s hand around his neck dragging him to his knees.  Bob looked up, his face throbbing.  “Wait…  Please…  I don’t know what you’re-”

“Shut the fuck up!”  Burt yelled as he pulled his scalpel out and put it too Bob’s right eye.

Bob went silent.  The fear gripped him and if he had not just peed he would have soiled his pants.

Ernie leaned in.  “Alright asshole, now we want the truth about the deed and the money.”

Bob’s eyes shifted back and forth between his attackers.  “What are you talking about?!”

Ernie grinned.  “I see we are going to have to be a little more convincing.  Burt, take his eye.”

Bob began to scream the word “no” over and over again.  Burt just smiled.  After the day he was having, he needed to hurt someone.

None of them saw Hank coming.

****

Hank was very happy they kicked the door down.

Hank was happy because he had fallen asleep in the car and if they hadn’t, he probably would have slept through his big part in the scam.  Instead, he woke up just in time to watch them enter.  Hank opened the car door and stepped out.

Hank began to walk toward the house, yawning.  He shook his head.  He then began to stretch his arms out as he walked, working to get his blood flowing which was going to prove a difficult task.

Hank took off the stupid Stetson he was using to pretend to be Marshall and tossed it into the driveway.  As he closed in on the door, he could hear the screaming inside.  He stepped in quietly, coming into the kitchen behind Burt and Ernie.

He took a deep breath.

Hank grabbed Burt from behind, pulling the shocked man backwards, forcing him off balance.  Hank spun and turned to Burt.  His right hand went to the back of Burt’s head and slammed him, face first, into the refrigerator.

 The bald head struck with such force that it dented the refrigerator.

Burt dropped to the tile floor, blood dripping from his face.  He wasn’t unconscious but he might as well have been.

Ernie turned.  His eyes went to Burt on the ground holding his face and coughing then back to the Hank.  Hank stared back.

Ernie’s eyes narrowed.  “You picked the wrong one to take down first.”

Ernie flexed and Hank’s eyes went to Ernie’s massive arms and upper body and he couldn’t help agreeing.

Hank wished he hadn’t fallen asleep.

Ernie moved in and Hank brought up his guard, firing two quick, hard right-handed jabs into Ernie’s face.  Ernie had been struck enough times in his life to be used to this.  He walked through the blows without effect.  Ernie then came in with a hard hook to Hank’s right side abdomen.

The blow was epic, winding Hank slightly.  Hank lost his guard for that split second and Ernie, capitalized, bringing the same hand up with a huge shot to the bottom of Hank’s jaw.

Hank saw stars and stumbled backward finally losing his footing and falling to the carpeted floor of the living room.

Hank rolled backward trying to come back to his feet but Ernie’s one-two had done a number on him.

Desperation came into Hank’s head for the first time since he had been hired for the job.

 Am I really going to fuck this up?

Ernie was on top of Hank now, his right hand grabbing Hank’s ear to hold him while Ernie dropped the left down on Hank like a depth charge.  The blow caught the back of Hank’s shoulder and sent shockwaves through his body.  Ernie was stronger.

Stronger than anyone Hank had met.

Hank was in trouble and he knew it.  Ernie cocked his giant left fist back and Hank knew that if Ernie brought that fist down into the back of his head it was a done deal.  Hank had to do something.

Hank put all of his force into a hard hook to the side of Ernie’s right knee.  There was a pop and Ernie screamed in pain, releasing Hanks ear.  Hank had is opening, finally.  He rose with a right-cross to Ernie’s hard jaw line.  Ernie staggered and Hank followed through with a left-cross.

Ernie’s head whipped with the punch and a tooth flew across the room.

Ernie reeled backwards and Hank stepped in, putting his left hand into Ernie’s hair to steady his face as Hank wound up for the finisher.

Ernie was far from done.

Ernie threw his head forward, slamming his own forehead into Hank’s chin.

Hank let go and staggered and Ernie brought a big left-hook into the side of Hank’s face.  The blow spun Hank around and sent him ass over foot through Bob’s living room coffee table with a crash.

“Stay down, asshole!”  Ernie yelled as he turned and began to limp back toward the kitchen.

Hank shook his head and wiped the blood from his broken lip.  “Where the fuck, do you think you’re going?”

Hank scrambled into motion, taking two low running steps before throwing his whole body into the back of Ernie’s hurt knee.

 Ernie howled and fell backwards to the floor.  “MY FUCKING LEG!”

Hank pulled himself to his feet as Ernie pulled himself to a sitting position.  Ernie was wailing about his leg and clutching it in pain.  His attention was gone from Hank.

Hank stepped in, cocking his leg backward before kicking Ernie in the face like he was punting a football.

Ernie sprawled out backward.  He was done.

Hank pulled out his tobacco tin from his back pocket, breathing hard.  He flicked it twice to loosen it before grabbing a ridiculously large amount and jamming it into his jaw line.

“That wasn’t so bad.”  Hank mumbled to himself.

That’s when he caught the flash of movement out of his peripheral vision.  He tried to spin around to face it, but he was too late.

Burt had recovered and found is small but deadly tool.  The extremely sharp business end of the scalpel caught Hank’s shoulder and opened him up.  Blood poured out of the wound and soaked the arm off his button up.

“You know, the scalpel is the sharpest cutting tool there is?” Burt said as he waited for Hank’s next move, his hungry blade in front of him.  “Has to be, that’s why I use it.  It draws the most blood.”

Hank grabbed his arm and gritted his teeth.  He then looked back at Burt, blood running down his face from the cut the refrigerator had put in his forehead.  Burt’s right eye was also swollen shut.

“Jesus, what happened to your eye?”  Hank asked, suddenly, and Burt became enraged, charging Hank with the scalpel.

Hank was ready for this and moved to the right.  He had moved into the blind spot created by Burt’s swollen eye.  Burt lost sight of him.  This caused Burt to freeze and spin.

Burt spun into Hanks right hand.

The blow rocked Burt and he staggered.  Hank grabbed the back of his head and his belt and ran him forward, head first into the wall.  Burt’s head crashed into the drywall. His body went limp and he dropped to the floor.

Hank took a moment to catch his breath and look at his arm.  He then looked back at the two unconscious extortionists.  “Go back to Sesame Street, mother fuckers.”

Hank limped back into the kitchen where Bob was cowering in a corner.  “Here’s what you’re going to do.”

Bob looked up at him confused and Hank continued.  “You call the cops right now.  You tell them that you owe money to Leroy Simpson for an illegal game of poker you lost. You tell them that he sent these men to get the money and hurt you, and you tell them you will put this in a statement.”

Bob shook his head.  “He’ll kill me!”

Hank stared and shook his head.  “You are afraid of the guys I just ended?  You don’t get it, do you?  We are taking care of the problem.  Unless, of course, you want to become the problem?”

Hank’s hand balled into a fist and Bob shook his head.  “Good.  Now after they let you out, you will get a call from Savannah with instructions.”

Bob nodded.

Hank smiled.  “And not a word about me or Savannah, got it?”

Bob nodded.

Hank nodded then turned and walked out, picking up his hat out of the yard and heading to his car.

Bob waited two seconds before calling the cops in a frantic mess.

End Episode 9

8-The Hard Con

8

The Hard Con

Sidney

They were sitting in a large, old-school Cadillac across the street.  Sidney had made them a half an hour ago when she had gotten home.  Once inside her house, she had snuck to the window to confirm.

Two men in the front seat, the Thugs who had visited Bob a couple of days ago.  In addition to them, there was a third man in the back.  It was early morning and the shadows made it hard to see the person in the back seat.

Sidney had a good guess as to who it was.

Sidney figured they were waiting to make sure she didn’t have anyone about to come over and that she wasn’t going anywhere else.

Then they would make their move.

Sidney had just enough time for a drink.  She reached for the hard stuff, Glenlivet Scotch.  She poured herself three fingers and took a hard swig.  This next part was the hard part and she needed to be loose.

****

Tobias

The door swung open into a dim candle lit setting.  As Tobias stepped in, he cursed himself.

It was Friday.

He walked in and saw his fiancé, Linda, passed out on the couch, a half empty bottle of wine on the coffee table and the Netflix up on the television.  He sighed and covered her with a blanket then went to the refrigerator.  Tobias pulled out a beer, Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold.

He needed to get the taste of The Corner Pocket’s cheap brew out of his mouth.

He poured the beer, evenly, into a pilsner and walked out the back of the condo onto the patio.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Tobias pulled it out and answered it as the he sat down to watch the sun rise.

It was Hank on the other end.  “This is fucking boring.”

Tobias chuckled.  “Never said it would be all action and girls.”

“Yeah,” Hank said with a yawn.  “But this is really fucking boring.”

Tobias frowned.  “Was that a yawn?  You better not fall asleep on the job.”

“Fuck off Tobe.  I got this.”  Hank came back, slightly angry.

“Good to hear.”  Tobias replied as the adrenaline started to wear off and he started to feel his fatigue.

“So Tobias, what’s the deal with Sidney?”  Hank suddenly asked.  “How do you know her?”

Tobias was taken aback by the question.  “Where did that come from?”

“I want to know who I’m working with.”  Hank answered.

Tobias knew that was bullshit.  Hank wanted to make sure Tobias wasn’t pulling one over on his sister.  “It’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like?”  Hank fired back the question and Tobias took a deep breath.

Tobias was going to tell hank the story…

****

Sidney

In minutes, the three men would get out of their car and walk to the front door of Sidney’s house.  They would knock, hopefully, and Sidney would answer.

That’s when it would begin.

This was the true test of a con.  She would have to take truly hostile elements, and turn them.  They would be here to scare her, hurt her, and possibly even kill her.  Her job would be to pull a 360 and convince them that she was not only harmless, but that she was a friend.

The hard con.

She finished the scotch with the second drink and almost on cue, the doorbell rang.

No Fear, No Fear, No fear No Fear…

She repeated the mantra over and over in her head.  She couldn’t show weakness.  Had to make them believe this was all part of the plan, had to stare down the barrel and laugh.

She poured herself another small amount of scotch and walked to the front door…

…She took a deep breath and opened it.

****

Tobias

“The real Sidney was born on her eighteenth birthday.”  Tobias began the story.  “On her Eighteenth birthday, her dad left her and her mother, and when he did, he left a note for her.  It said ‘Live and learn’.”

“So her dad left, big deal, happens to a lot of people,” Hank said, unimpressed.

“True,” Tobias replied.  “But this was different.  You see, Sidney’s dad had been a great dad to Sidney and a good husband to her mother, at least for the most part, or at least they thought.  In all actuality, though, he was using Sidney as part of a con.”

“A con?”  Hank asked.  “What kind of con uses your own kid?”

“If you went out right now and opened a savings account with over five hundred dollars they would send you a W-2 because you have to pay taxes on the interest.  Nowadays who gives a shit?  After all, the average interest rate on savings accounts is about two percent.  Back in the year Sid was born, it was a totally different story.  The interest rate was around ten percent.”

“Okay, but how does that fit in with Sidney and her dad?” Hank asked, still confused.

“Minors don’t pay taxes on interest.” Tobias stated.

There was a silence as Hank tried to put it together.  “So her dad opened an account in her name?  When she was a kid?”

Tobias took over.  “When she was born.  The day after.  He also got a damn good interest rate, probably closer to twelve percent.  He put all his money from his side cons and whatever else, into it and just raked in the cash over eighteen years.”

“Damn,” Hank said, now impressed with the scam. “How much did he make off with?”

“I’m not sure, I never saw the numbers, but he walked off with a lot.  What’s worse is he waited till the last second to take all the money out, so she turns eighteen and he leaves with the money.  But the government wants the taxes on the interest now…” Tobias left it hanging.

“He left her with the bill?”  Hank said shocked.  “That’s cold.”

“As cold as they come, Hank,” Tobias said with a dark infliction in his voice.

****

Sidney

The hand hit her throat and lifted her off her feet.  The strange looking white guy shoved her backward into the wall.  She choked and gasped for air as the grip tightened.  For a second, Sidney got to look directly into the eyes of her attacker and she saw…

…Nothing.

The well-built, black man followed in behind his partner with a grin on his face.  Directly behind him was a broad-shoulder, dark skinned man who, for some reason reminded Sidney of those old ‘Candyman’ movies.

Leroy Simpson.

“Ernie, close the door would you?” Leroy said in a sweet and full voice.  “Ease up, Bert? I don’t want her dead.  Not yet, anyway.”

The muscled black man named Ernie shut the door behind them.  Bert reluctantly released Sidney’s throat.  She coughed and sputtered for air.

Leroy was wearing a tweed suit, as if he was trying to be well dressed, but failing.  He smiled.  “Sidney Thompson.  I’m Leroy Simpson.”

Sidney was starting to catch her breath.  “Hold on Leroy, I’ll be right with you…”

No Fear, No Fear, No fear.

Sidney pulled herself upright to stand up straight.  Her eyes were on Bert who stared back with a hungry look.  She then, never taking her eyes off Bert, downed the glass of scotch she still clung to in her hand in one gulp.  She smiled at Bert before winging the rock glass into Bert’s eye with a snap of her wrist.

The glass struck Bert’s eye with a sickening wet thud before dropping to the floor and breaking.  Bert staggered, grabbing his eye.

“Fuck you, Bert!” Sidney yelled.

Ernie stepped in and back-handed her with such a force, she saw stars.  Sidney stumbled and hit the floor.  She tried to shake it off.  Bert pulled himself upright, his eye already starting to swell.

Bert came up with a small sharp scalpel in his hand.

“Enough!” Leroy yelled and the boys calmed themselves.

Sidney began to stand, shrugging off the epic slap.  “That’s right boys, Leroy wants me alive.”

Leroy’s jaw worked.  “You have some balls, but people tend to call me, Mr. Simpson.”

“I’m not people.” Sidney said with anger in her eyes.

“I’ve have had all I can take from you,” Leroy began, his rage visible.  “I found out from some people that you have been asking around about Bob Stanoski.  I want to know why?”

****

Tobias

“So he used her to make a fortune and left her with the bill?”  Hank asked, as Tobias finished the story.

Tobias nodded his head even though Hank couldn’t see him.  “Basically, she was born as a con.  Sidney is the product of her dad’s greatest con.”

There was silence on the other end.

“I’m the only person she ever told,” Tobias said quietly.  “She has trust issues.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Hank said, sarcastically.

There was a pause and then Hank seemed to figure something out.  “So, where do you come in?”

“I knew her before, and I just happen to be good at taking things.  I started helping her with her cons in order to pay off her debt.  Once it was paid, we were in deep.  It’s almost like it just became what we did.  We became friends.  Best friends.”  Tobias answered.

“Friends huh?” Hank asked accusingly.

Tobias sighed, “Friends, Hank.  Just friends.”

****

Sidney

“Everything I need to know about Stanoski, I have.”  Sidney began, “You however, want the information I have.”

Leroy raised his eyebrow.  “You’re trying to sell me information?”

Sidney scoffed.  “Come on, Leroy.  You didn’t come here without researching who was after your precocious Stanoski, did you?  So, let’s assume you know what I do for a living?”

Leroy still looked skeptical.  “So you are saying that you were trying to get me to come to you?”

Sidney smiled.  “Worked, didn’t it?  I have always liked the home field advantage.”

Leroy looked unhappy with that statement.

“Three grand.  Cash.” Sidney stated the price.

All three of them laughed out loud.  Leroy waved his hands and his thugs quieted.  “So, you want three grand for information on Stanoski?  With absolutely no insurance?  Let’s face it girl, your alone.  If I wanted the information I would beat it out of you, and that’s only if I trust what you say to be true.  And, by the way, I don’t.”

Sidney didn’t blink.  “Bob is going to flip the restaurant out from under you.”

Sidney dropped the restaurant bomb and Leroy’s face became death. “Listening now?”

Leroy thought about it and Sidney knew he had him on the fence.  “I can prove the information I have.  Sure, you could beat it out of me but I assure you it’s cheaper to pay me.”

Leroy contemplated her original price.  “Two grand.”

Sidney nodded.  “Deal.”

Leroy had Ernie walk out to the car and get the cash.  Sidney looked at Bert.  His eye was swelling shut.  He was staring at her and frothing at the mouth.  Sidney winked at him.  He growled.

Ernie returned and gave her the money.  She looked at the stack then playfully grinned back at Leroy.  “Do I have to count it?”

Leroy had had enough.  “Don’t be stupid.”

She began to explain.  “Bob’s going to sell the restaurant and collect the cash and walk.  He has no intention of laundering the money you gave him, he’s just going to turn it into profit and run.”

“You said that.”  Leroy was not impressed.  “But he can’t, I have a signed deed.  If he tries, I can have it filed.  It’s dated for the day after he bought the place.”

“Ah, yes,” Sidney said knowingly.  “The deed.  Which brings me to the proof.  You don’t deal in real estate much, do you?”

Leroy looked inquisitive.  “What?”

“It’s a fake.”  Sidney continued.  “He gave you a copy.  Take it to the recorder’s office and try to file it.  Tell me how it goes.”

Leroy stood and turned to Bert & Ernie.  “Get to Stanoski’s.  Sweat him.  I’m going to go get the deed and try to file it.  Fucking Stanoski.”

They turned and walked out.  Leroy pointed at Sidney.  “If I find out you lied, I’ll take more than my money back.”

Sidney’s smile was ear to ear.  “Thanks for shopping, come back again.”

****

Tobias

“So let me get this straight,” Hank said.  “You abandoned Sidney when you were the only person she had ever trusted?”

Tobias gulped and rubbed his forehead as the guilt returned.  “It’s not that simple, Hank.  I’m afraid of what I am around her.”

“Because you do bad shit?” Hank asked.

“No.”  Tobias sighed.  “Because when I do bad shit around her it doesn’t feel bad…”

“..It feels good.”

****

Sidney

It was over.  She had pulled it off.

Her adrenaline faded and she allowed herself to feel the terror of what had just happened.  She allowed herself to feel the maniac’s hand around her throat.  She allowed herself to feel the pain throbbing from her jaw where she had been slapped.

She felt it all now and she shook.

End episode 8

7-The Switch

7

The Switch

The Prep

“That’s another two hundred!” Justin yelled as he did a very cool, half-high-five hand shake clasp thing to a friend of his, whom Tobias has gathered was called, K-Money.

Justin had just sunk his last ball, giving him another win over Tobias and winning him another three hundred dollars.  They had played three games of pool, the first for a hundred, the second for two and now the third for three.

“Hey man, you hear me?” Justin said bringing Tobias’s focus back to the game.

Tobias was still wearing his suit.  He had removed the jacket and draped it over a chair. The sleeves of his white dress shirt were rolled up to forearm level.  He took another drink of his beer.  He sipped it, making sure to not get drunk.

“Wow, guess it isn’t my night.”  Tobias smiled, looking surprised that he had lost.

Justin worked his jaw.  “Does that mean you’re done?  I sure as hell hope not.  At the rate you’re going, I’m gonna put my kid through college, on you.”

K-Money snickered at the joke and Tobias mocked a smile.  “Of course not.  One more game, double or nothing?”

Justin nodded, excited. “Damned straight!”

Justin pulled out the $600 and placed it on the edge of the table.  Tobias opened his wallet and did the same.  “You rack, and winner breaks as usual.  I’m going to use the bathroom.”

Justin began the process of setting up the balls. “Yeah sure, it’s over there, by the stairs.”

Tobias’s attention turned back to the ten digit keypad on the wall behind the bar.  It was an out of date security system, probably low level motion sensor technology.  A person entering would have thirty seconds after tripping the alarm to move across the floor and put in a four digit code to disarm.  It had probably been installed in the Corner Pocket during its opening, years ago.  That was one of the benefits of being Leroy Simpson, the most feared criminal in Akron.  His reputation was his security system.  No one was stupid enough to fuck with him.

Until now.

The thought gave Tobias chills, but he decided to maintain his focus.  He was here to case the place for tonight and that’s what he was going to do.  Tobias put three fingers into the beer, then rubbed the beer on his neck.  He then walked toward the bathroom.

Tobias took a look around to make sure no one was looking at him then he passed the bathroom and climbed the stairs.  He slowly made his way to the upper level of the two story brick building.

The second level of what used to be an apartment complex had been converted to accommodate a card game setting, roughly eight double sized rooms.  Tobias peeked in one, a large felt casino-style card table in the center, as well as a mini bar to the right.

This is where Leroy would host his poker and black jack games.  He would skim off the top to make a living and even play in a couple of games to scam some more money out of the deal.

That would have been how he got Bob.

At the end of the hall was a double thick oak door.  It was closed and probably locked from the other side by a heavy dead bolt.

That was where Tobias needed to be.

He approached the door and put his ear to it.  He could hear voices from inside but he couldn’t make out the words.  Tobias quickly examined the deadbolt.  It was a heavy design, but just like the alarm downstairs, it was an old design.

It took Tobias a minute to bypass the lock.  He thanked his lucky stars that no one decided to exit or enter the room.  Slowly, he unlooked the door so as not to alert the people inside.

Tobias then slipped his picks back into his pocket and undid his tie slightly.  He had to psych himself up for the next move but there was no way around it.  The door obviously was the entrance to Leroy’s personal office, which is where his safe would be.

Tobias took one final deep breath.

He then turned the handle and threw the door open, staggering into the room.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” A hard black voice yelled as the room became tense with the shock.

Tobias took in the scene fast, trying to store as much information as he could about.  It was large but full of tacky furniture.  Pleather couches lined both walls.  In the far right corner sat Leroy’s desk, a large mahogany thing.  A well built back man and a pudgy white guy went rigid with Tobias’s entrance.  Behind the desk sat Leroy Simpson, himself.

Leroy was calm, even in the face of surprise.  His eyes were narrow and searching.  He had a bald head and a hawk like nose.  Neither his face nor body showed his age, but from what Tobias had heard he was in his forties.

If Delroy Lindo and The Candyman had an evil baby, it would be Leroy Simpson.

“HOOOLLy Shittttt….” Tobias slurred his speech on purpose and tried not to look at anything with focus.  “You guys, do you guys, know where the FUCKING bathroom isssss?”

Tobias staggered into the room farther.  On the desk was a series of stacks of money, thousand dollar denominations.  The wall behind the desk had a safe installed in it.  The front of the safe was open and inside sat documents, money and what Tobias thought was a gun.

It was an old safe.  Tobias forced himself not to smile.

“How’s abouts here?”  Tobias asked stumbling around the room.  “I could piss on that couch, might improve the colors!”

Ernie turned angrily at Burt.  “What the fuck, Burt?  You said you locked the door!”

Burt frowned.  “I did.”

Burt’s look was one of dark hatred, one that came from madness.  He then pulled a knife and began to move toward Tobias.

Tobias’ hands went up, drunkenly.  “WHOA!  I take back what I said.  The couch is fucking fantastic!”

Tobias screamed on the inside, for a second he thought these guys were about to kill him over this.

“Burt.”  Leroy spoke one word and it was like silk, deep and smooth.  Billy Dee Williams would be jealous.

Burt stopped and turned toward his boss.  Leroy shook his head and Burt put the knife away.  Leroy then nodded at Ernie and flicked his wrist.

“Alright asshole,” Ernie said.  “You took one hell of a wrong turn.  The bathroom’s this way.”

Ernie took Tobias and dragged him out of the room and down the hall before shoving him back down the stairs.  “It’s around the corner, asshole!”

Tobias nodded and walked down the stairs.  Once out of eyeshot, he tightened his collar and walked back toward the pool table.  Justin looked agitated, “Hell of a piss, man.  What the fuck happened to you?”

Tobias smiled.  “Sorry, I took a wrong turn.  Did you take your turn?”

Justin and K-Money smiled in unison.  “Oh yeah.”

Tobias looked at the table and noticed that Justin had all but run the table shy of two balls.  He had previously played two games against Justin and knew that he wasn’t capable of that and had probably cheated.

“Wow,” Tobias said.  “That’s pretty good.”

“I was on a roll,” Justin said as his shit eating grin widen to his ears.

“So it’s my turn?” Tobias asked.

Justin nodded.

Tobias grabbed his beer and chugged the remaining half, since he would be leaving soon.  He had all the information he needed.

Tobias then proceeded to run the table, one shot after another.  In the course of maybe a minute, the game was over.

K-Money and Justin’s faces dropped as they watched.

Tobias picked up his coat, neatly folding it over his right hand then grabbed the stack of money.

“You gentlemen have a wonderful afternoon.”

With that, Tobias walked out the front door.

****

The Job

Real thieves don’t wear black.  The idea of any premeditated crime, especially this one, is to not call attention to yourself.  If people see a guy running around dressed like a Ninja, they tend to get suspicious.  Instead, you want dark colors, maroon or navy blue.

With this in mind, Tobias parked his car four blocks away and got out dressed in a dark navy blue dress shirt matched with a navy blue sport coat and navy blue Dockers.

It was his outfit.  Inside the coat were all of the tools he would need for the various crimes he would be committing tonight.  He also looked quite sharp.

Being a criminal is a reason to be an asshole, not a reason to look like an asshole.

He calmly walked across the streets and through the alleys of Akron at four in the morning.  He briefly thought about how cool the city was to look at, but not so much fun to walk through with all of its steep hills and inclines.

Reaching the front door, he reached into his coat and removed the tools he would need to open it.  He took a quick look around, then went to work on the lock.  He opened it in no time and entered, sprinting across the main hall toward the bar.

1. He reached the bar and vaulted over it, landing in front of the alarm system.

2. Tobias pulled a roll of masking tape from his coat.

3. He ripped a section of tape off the roll, about the size of the key pad.

4. He flattened the tape to the pad gently, so as not to press the buttons.

5. He pulled the tape away from the keys.  The buttons that had been pressed repeatedly would have grease and sweat and human remnants on them, which the tape brought up.

6. Comparing the grease marks to the keypad, Tobias saw that the numbers used where 4,5,6 and 8.

7. Tobias furiously went through the combinations, the first four were no good.

8. More failure.

9. Alarm disarmed.

Tobias smiled as the small digital readout said ‘DISARMED’ in big letters.  The rest was cake.

Tobias moved up the stairs and through the office door, pulling his lock picks again and making quick work of the office’s entrance.  Tobias moved into the office, fluidly replacing the lock picks and removing a stethoscope.

It took Tobias five minutes to get the safe open.  He frowned, realizing his time had slipped a little.

Tobias had to fight the urge to walk out with all the money in the safe.  It was instinct. Instead, he found what he was looking for and pulled out the document.  Before replacing it with the one he had brought.

Tobias then moved back down the stairs and re-armed the alarm before walking out the front door.

Tobias pulled out his phone as he walked toward his car.  The night had gotten brighter.  It was about six in the morning and the brighter sky meant the sun was threatening.

He dialed Sidney.  She answered on the fifth ring.  “Hello?”

Her voice was groggy with the sleep that Tobias had brought her out of.  He spoke.  “It’s done.  I have the document.”

“Good.”  Sidney began to wake up.  “Good.  Bring it over.  Things are going to happen fast from here on out.”

END EPISODE 7