11-The Twist

11

The Twist

Hank pulled up to the upscale house around 7:00 pm.  The sun was at its decline and shadows played across the Ohio landscape.  Inside, Sidney would be waiting, disguised as Savannah, of course.  She would be ready to close the deal.

Hank was happy about that.  He wanted his pay day and a little rest, but most of all, he wanted to stop having to do this stupid country accent.

Bob sat in the passenger seat, clutching his disheveled suitcase to his chest as if it were a teddy bear.  They had done a number on him.  Bob looked ready to crack.

Hank got out and walked around the car to Bob’s side.  He opened Bob’s door and basically dragged the man out.  Hank got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.  He didn’t like seeing Bob this worked up.  A guy in Bob’s state of mind can become a wildcard.

Hank walked Bob into the lavish house where the mock poker game that had cost him everything, had gone down.  Sidney would be waiting at the table in the game room. Hank directed Bob in the right direction and they found Sidney, back in the blonde wig and high heels, the southern belle look having returned.  She was playing solitaire at the opposite end of the table.

Sidney looked up and smiled, speaking with the Savannah accent.  “Good evening, Mr. Stanoski.  So lovely to see you again.  Please have a seat.”

Stanoski didn’t move.  He was still clutching the suitcase.

Sidney frowned.  “Marshall, would you please make Mr. Stanoski comfortable?”

Hank ripped the case out of Bob’s hands and he made a small, child-like whimper.  Hank then put his hand on Bob’s shoulder and sat him in the chair opposite Sidney.  Bob was visibly shaken and covered in his own sweat.

Hank took a step back but never took his eyes off of Bob.

“I’m glad you could join me,” Sidney began, her eyes going to the suitcase then back to Bob.  “It seems you have somewhere to be?”

Bob stammered, trying to explain but Sidney silenced him with the raising of her hand.  “No worries, Mr. Stanoski.  After we settle our little debt, you can do whatever you want.”

Sidney nodded to Hank and that was his cue.  He moved up behind Bob and reached over his shoulder placing the deed on the table.  He then slapped a pen down.

“Sign the deed and our work here is done,” Sidney said.

Bob nodded and picked up the pen.  He took a quick glance over the document and seemed to notice something strange in the text.

Bob stopped and looked confused.  “Who’s Sidney Thompson?”

Sidney frowned.  “Do I need to explain myself, Mr. Stanoski?  I did just save you from that colored fellow, didn’t I?”

Bob nodded.  “Of course, I was just wondering is all.  I mean when I sign this, it says she gets the store, not you.”

“If you must know,” Sidney answered.  “It’s an alias I use in order to avoid taxes.”

Bob nodded again and then took a deep breath and signed the deed.

Hank exhaled.  It was done.  All he had to do now was-

“You fucking whore!”  Hank spun as Tobias stormed into the room.

Sidney’s face contorted into shock.  Bob jumped out of his chair.

“You just couldn’t resist, could you?!”  Tobias yelled as he walked around the table pointing his finger like a loaded gun.

Hank was completely lost as to what to do.  What was Tobias doing?

“What the hell are you doing here?!”  Bob yelled at Tobias.

Tobias spun his head towards Bob with fire burning in his eyes.  “Shut the fuck up, Bob!”

Tobias reeled back toward Sidney, who looked horrified as her entire plan and everything the three of them had worked for, began to fall around them like a house of cards.

Sidney tried to continue her Savannah impersonation.  “Why Tobias, what is the meaning of this outburst?”

Tobias scrunched up his face in angry disgust.  “Oh cut the fucking act, would you?”

Sidney lost her accent.  “What in the name of God are you doing, Tobias?”

Bob’s face began to twist into one of rage.  “What happened to your accent?  How do you know Tobias?”

Tobias ignored Bob, instead focusing on his partner in crime.  “You cut me out of the restaurant, didn’t you?”

Sidney was taken aback.  “What?”

Tobias noticed the deed on the table and gave Sidney a disapproving look.  “This is it, isn’t it?”

“Tobias, wait!” Sidney cried as Tobias picked it up and looked it over.

Reading it confirmed his suspicions and he turned and hurled the deed at her.  “You fucking bitch!”

Sidney finally looked guilty.  “How did you know?”

Tobias shook his head.  “I just know ‘cuase I know you.  After all we have been through, I should have been here for the final play.  When you told me to stay home, I knew it meant you were going to do something you didn’t want me to see.  God damn it, Sid.  After all these years I thought our friendship was the one rule you wouldn’t break.”

Sidney became angry.  “Oh fuck you, Bias!  I did hold that rule dear, above all else.  You were the one person I would never cheat.  That was, until you cheated me!”

Tobias now looked guilty and Sidney advanced.  “You vanished into thin air for a fucking year!  Then you come back because you need me?!  Well fuck you!  You are not vanishing again, because I just became your boss!”

Hank stared in awe of what he was witnessing in front of him.  How had it come to this.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Bob screamed so loud his voice cracked.

Both Tobias and Sidney turned and yelled back in eerie unison.  “Shut the fuck up, Bob!”

“NO!” Bob suddenly pulled out the gun from the back of his pants and the room went quiet as Bob nervously pointed the gun.  “What the fuck is going on?”

“Okay.”  Sidney’s voice got calm as she held her hands in a non-threatening, non-violent way.  “Calm down, okay?  I’ll explain.”

“Fuck you, bitch!”  Bob screamed.  “You have been trying to fuck me over this whole time.  You’re in bed with that fag shit over there, right?!  RIGHT?!”

As Bob screamed, he moved the gun constantly back and forth between the two of them.  He had seemed to forget about Hank who was trying to move up on Bob’s right, very slowly so as not to be noticed.

“You know what?” Tobias suddenly chimed in.  “Fuck you, Bob.”

Everybody’s eyes went to Tobias who was staring at Bob.  “That’s right.  Fuck you, Bob.”

“I, will fucking kill you!” Bob screamed.

Tobias shrugged that off.  “The hell you will.  You’re all talk and always have been, ain’t that right?”

“What are you doing?” Sidney whispered angrily.

Tobias ignored her, pulling out a smoke and lighting up.  “Shoot, then.”

Everyone in the room said ‘What?’ at the same time.

Tobias continued.  “I lost the one thing I was in this for.  I broke my promise to my fiancé more times than I can count, so fuck you Bob.  Shoot me!  But let’s face it, that ain’t going to happen.”

“Shut up!” Bob yelped.

Tobias continued.  “You see, Bob’s always about the easy way out, and killing a man is the hard way.  He doesn’t have the stomach for it.”

“I said, shut up!” Bob screamed again.

Tobias was un-relenting.  “He doesn’t have the balls.  That’s right, Bob.  That’s why your wife left you.”

Bob’s eye twitched.  “You fucking bastard…”

Tobias’s voice got low and serious.  “And deep down inside, Bob knows that is why his kid hates him too.”

“You bastard!”  Bob screamed.

Hank saw the crazed look in Bob’s eye and knew it was now or never.

Bob pulled the trigger.  The gun fired a single shot.

In the same second, Hank slapped the gun away and cracked Bob in the side of the face with a brutal right hand.  Bob spun and sprawled onto the floor.

Hank turned and felt his stomach drop.

Sidney fell backwards into Tobias, blood pouring from the gunshot wound in her chest.

Sidney had taken the bullet for Tobias.

“No.  No, Sid.  Come on.  NO!”  Tobias sputtered as he caught Sidney and fell backward with her.  He ended up sitting on the ground, Sidney’s head in his lap.

Bob shook off the punch, blood running down from his lip and he looked over, his face contorting to horror at what he had done.

“Stay with me, Kitty.  Come on Sid, you gotta’ stay with me!”  Tobias was panicking as he watched the blood pump out of her heart through the hole in her chest and onto the floor.

 Sidney looked up weakly.  “Sorry, Bias…”

Sidney closed her eyes.

“No, Sid,” Tobias said, trying not to weep.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

Hank took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair as he watched the scene.  How had it come to this?  How had this all gone so bad?  Sidney was dead.  No one had the store or any money.  Hank heard a desperate Bob muttering to himself, scramble to his suitcase and then out of the room and out of the house.

“Oh god, Tobias,” Hank whispered.  “I’m sorry man.”

Tobias looked up at him from Sidney’s dead body, taking a drag on his cigarette and blowing it into the air.  “No Hank, I’m sorry.”

“You fucking should be, that thing smells awful. ”Sidney suddenly said as her eyes popped back open.

Tobias suddenly grinned like a cat.

Hank’s face became one of confusion.  “What the fuck?”

Sidney coughed.  “Seriously, dick monger, get that thing out of my face!”

Sidney stood up and dusted herself off, the blood still seeming to pump from her chest.

Tobias stood and noticed the blood on his suit pants.  “Awe fuck, these are ruined now!”

Sidney frowned at him.  “Really?  We own a restaurant and you’re worried about your pants?”

“What the fuck is going on?”  Hank suddenly broke in, still confused, watching a zombie-like Sidney walk and make jokes.

Tobias turned and did a mock face of pain. “Jeez, Hank.  I’m sorry about this, but we needed your reaction to be sincere.”

Hank seemed to begin to understand what was happening.  “Oh, fuck you guys!”

Sidney laughed.

Tobias continued to explain.  “You see, we wanted Bob gone after this, and gone for good.  If he hangs around, there is a chance that Leroy or his boys eventually find out who did them in and we would be up shit creek.”

Hank shook his head.  “But he shot her?!”

“Movie magic.”  Tobias said and strutted over to Hank, pulling six .38 caliber bullets from his pocket and handing them to Hank.  “I’m a thief, remember?  What do you think I was doing while Bob was being interviewed by the cops?  I snuck into his house and found his gun.  I then replaced those bullets with blanks.”

Sidney decided to take over.  “I rigged a little corn syrup blood splatter and set it off when Bob fired.”

Hank shook his head.  “He was packed already.  He was already leaving.  Why go through the trouble?”

“He was leaving to lay low for a while,” Sidney said.  “We wanted him gone for good.  He thinks he killed me, he’ll be in Mexico before we get home.”

Hank shook his head in amazement.  “But how’d you know he had a gun?”

Tobias laughed.  “People in bed with Leroy Simpson have guns.”

Sidney tapped Hank on the cheek.  “Oh come on Hank, don’t be mad.  We just pulled it off!”

Hank nodded.  “Yeah, I guess we did.”

****

Sidney was sitting on the back porch of the house looking up at the clear night sky.  Her friend in real estate had loaned her the house for one more night.  Tobias walked out and took a seat in the chair next to her, while, at the same time, handing her a scotch.

Tobias had poured himself a beer.

“To the suckers.”  Sidney said as she extended her glass to toast.

The “to the suckers” toast, had been a tradition between her and Tobias, after each successful con.  It began after they had impersonated boat owners to get a $200 meal for free at a local yacht club.  Sidney had raised her glass and said, “To the suckers of the world, because without them, we’d be out of work.”

It had since been shortened.

Tobias smiled and met her glass with his own.  “To the suckers.”

They then drank in silence, which was rare for them but occasionally they just enjoyed the silence.  Finally, Tobias put his empty glass down.

“Alright I have to get home to my future wife.  Tomorrow we can transfer the deed to me,” Tobias said as he stood.

Sidney scoffed, “As if.  You thought I was kidding?”

Tobias turned and raised an eyebrow, “Don’t be a bitch.”

“Too late,” Sidney said with a smile.  “You’re not ditching me again.  I am officially your new boss.”

Tobias became frustrated.  “Come on Sid.  You can’t-”

Sidney cut him off.  “Plus, if I have a steady income, I might not have to be so bad anymore.”

Tobias took a deep breath and let it go.  “I have to ask, would you have really taken the bullet for me?”

“I want to meet your wife.”  Sidney said suddenly, avoiding the question.  “I want her to know about me.”

Tobias nodded.  “That can be arranged.”

Tobias turned and began to walk toward the front of the house.  Sidney stood.  “Bias?”

Tobias stopped and turned.

Sidney thought about what she wanted to say then smiled.  “We’re all good, Bias.  We’re just not all as okay with it as you are.”

Sidney winked at Tobias who just laughed and walked away.

END SEASON 1

10- The Turn

10

The Turn

Leroy stood at the desk while the clerk and cute blond woman, named Melissa, took the deed into the back to be verified.  His jaw worked in irritation as the child in line behind him, once again bumped into the back of his leg.

He slowly turned, his face contorted in rage.  Behind him was the remainder of the line in the court house waiting to do whatever business they had come to do.  No one looked happy.

The child running into the back of his leg was a boy, about eight years old.  He was looking up at Leroy and grinning.  It was at this precise moment that Leroy realized that the child was bumping into him on purpose.

Leroy’s eyes shifted to the mother who had seen it all go down and looked like she couldn’t care less.  When he stared at her she stared back angrily and said, “What?”

Leroy briefly thought about reaching out and breaking the woman’s neck, but decided restraint was the smarter play.  Instead, he turned around and continued to wait.

The child bumped into the back of his knee again.

Leroy growled.

Leroy’s phone started buzzing in his pocket, disregarding the clearly marked ‘No Cell Phone’ sign, he took the phone out of his pocket and checked the number.

It was unrecognizable.  His eyes narrowed and he answered it. This caused uproar among the courthouse patrons, who all started griping and moaning at the same time.  Leroy could hear that the voice on the other end was Ernie but he couldn’t make out what he was saying thanks to the near deafening amount of whining going on around him.

Ernie was trying to say something but no matter how hard Leroy tried, he couldn’t make out a word.  Finally, he told Ernie to hold on then shouted, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

His deep resounding voice silenced the crowd instantly.  One man, halfway down the line stepped out.  “Hey you can’t talk on your cell phone, ASSHOLE!”

He was a small, skinny, white guy with glasses and was wearing disheveled office room clothes.  Leroy had to give the unimpressive man credit for the balls that took to talk back to him.  Business had to be taken care of, however.  Leroy walked over to the man who managed to stand his ground.

“You can’t do anything to me, so you shut up!”  The very repressed white guy said as he poked Leroy in the chest.

Leroy grabbed his finger and broke it.

The man’s face of steel and rage turned to that of a wounded child.  Instead of the loud scream that Leroy expected, he instead just did this silent open mouth mock yell and stared at his finger before dropping to his knees to hold it.  Tears streamed down his face.

Leroy scanned the rest of the line.  The couple waiting for the marriage license stumbled backward and out of the office.  Everybody else was silent.  Leroy nodded and walked back to the head of the line before bringing the phone to his ear.

The child bumped into the back of his knee again.

“ONE MORE TIME, KID!”  Leroy spun around and yelled at the kid who just grinned back at him.

Leroy went back to the phone still eyeballing the kid.  “Ernie, what’s going on?  Where the fuck are you calling from?”

“Time’s almost up boss, you have to listen.”  Ernie said, obviously talking fast.  “Me and Bert are in jail.”

“Jail?!  What the fuck happened?” Leroy cut him off, confused.

“Just listen, boss.  It’s all a set up.  We have been set up.  Bob had muscle and took us by surprise and…” Ernie was cut short.  The jail had cut the line.  He had run out of time.

Leroy looked unnerved.  Had Bob really pulled one over on him?  Had Leroy really been beaten by some loser gambler?

“Excuse me, sir?”  The cute clerk had returned.

Leroy turned back toward the counter and she smiled.  “There’re no cell phones allowed in here.”

Leroy took a deep breath and gritted his teeth.  “Of course, so is my deed recorded?”

The clerk did this sympathetic pained face.  “About that… I can’t record this.”

Leroy leaned in over the counter, his voice low and almost a growl.  “Why?”

The clerk raised her eyebrow, seemingly un-phased by Leroy’s threatening manner. “Because, it’s not a deed.”

“Looks like a deed to me.” Leroy said, on the verge of exploding.

The clerk’s eyes narrowed.  “You don’t deal with a lot of documents, do you?”

Leroy exhaled loudly.  “You need to file this.”

“This is a copy, not an original document.  You need the original, sir.”  The clerk responded, losing her patience.

Leroy pounded the desk with his fist, startling the clerk and all the people in line, “You’re not listening to me!”

The clerk’s face scrunched up.  “No, you’re not listening.  That is not a deed.  That is a copy, and you are lucky I don’t have you arrested for fraud!  So, with all due respect sir, you can go pound salt!”

The child bumped into the back of his knee again.

“Holy shit, kid!” Leroy spun around and he saw the uniform cops.  Three of them were standing between him and the door.

The cops were at the ready and had their hands on the butts of their pistols.  They were staring at him and moving toward him slowly.

The head cop raised his voice.  “Leroy Simpson, we have a warrant for your arrest for the crimes of extortion and illegal gambling.”

Leroy put his hands out to his sides and knew without a doubt that the game was over. Someone had set him up, and set him up good.  Leroy knew it wasn’t Bob.  Bob couldn’t have pulled this off so smoothly.

Leroy looked down as the cops approached, and saw that damn child grinning at him.

“I told you, kid.”  Leroy said.

Just before the cops got to him, he drove his knee into the kids face and sent him sprawling across the floor.

****

Bob was packing.

When someone takes a vacation or goes out of town for an extended period of time, they pack. Usually in an orderly fashion, they decide what they will need while away and in a neat and orderly fashion they strategically place these items into their luggage.  They would put clothes with clothes, food with food, and their tooth brushes with soap and other bathroom supplies etc. etc.

This was not how Bob was packing.

Bob’s packing came out of a guttural and desperate need to survive.  He believed now that the only way to do this was to run.  He was not sure where he was going to run to, how far, or even for how long.

He had not thought this far ahead.

He just knew that he had to run.  Run until he felt safe.

So, Bob packed as if he was on one of those shopping game shows.  He sprinted through his rooms, a suitcase in one hand, ripping things off hangers and tearing open drawers before shoving them in.

Bob packed hard.

Bob was sweating, he packed so hard.

After three hours of statements and unanswerable questions from the police, they had finally released him.  This was only after accusing him of nearly ten different crimes and interrogating him as to how he had managed to take down the extortionists by himself.

They had questioned him about everything, his debt, where he had gotten money for the restaurant and how he ended up in bed with Leroy.  He had left the restaurant out of it, of course, not wanting to get into more trouble with Savannah.  Instead, he stuck to what he was told and informed the police only of his gambling debt to Leroy and the fact that Leroy had sent Bert and Ernie to collect.

Now, everything was coming down.  He couldn’t take it anymore.  He had gotten caught between two loan sharks and the police.  He had no money, his house was about to be foreclosed upon and someone would claim the restaurant.

It was time to go.

His bag was packed.  He closed it and half zipped it up, his belongings still dangling out the side.  He dropped down next to his bed and reached under for a small lock box.  He popped it open to reveal his last insurance policy.

A small snub nose .38 caliber revolver.

Bob slipped it into the back of his pants then dropped his T-shirt over it, concealing the weapon.  He picked up his suit case, jogged down the stairs and ripped open the door.

Bob then screamed out loud.

Hank was standing in the doorway.  “Going somewhere?”

“No, I mean, I was…” Bob stammered, as Hank stared.

Hank was covered in bruises.  His eye and lip were swollen and somehow this only served to make him more intimidating.  This was enhanced, primarily by the fact that Bob had watched him tear Bert and Ernie to shreds that morning.

“How are you standing?”  Bob asked as part of a knee jerk reaction to Hank’s appearance.

Hank spit a wad of nasty chew onto the porch.  “With my legs.”

Hank reached out and grabbed the back of Bob’s scrawny neck, leading him back to his car.  “Come on, Bob.  It’s time for the victory celebration.”

End episode 10

9-The Fight

9

The Fight

Bob snapped awake on the couch to the sounds of gunshots and screams.  It took him a moment to realize that the sounds were coming from the T.V. he had left on.  He had fallen asleep on the couch again.  He sighed and ran his hand over his bald head.  The stress was getting to him.  He just wanted this all to be over.

He felt the tell tale urge in his groin, and he pulled himself off the couch and stumbled over the coffee table.  He moved into the barren kitchen with nothing but a card table, refrigerator and a chair left in it.  The bitch had taken everything.  He unzipped and felt sweet relief as his bladder began to evacuate into the toilet.

That’s when he heard the crash.

It was as loud as an explosion.  The sound of wood being shattered echoed through the house.  Bob finished quickly and zipped up, positive that noise hadn’t come from the T.V., he stepped out of the bathroom and into his kitchen.

 The blow hit him on his right side with such force he completely lost is footing and crashed through one of the only pieces of furniture he still owned.

“Tried to fuck the wrong guy, you little bitch!”  Ernie growled the words.

Bob tried to regain his footing and felt Burt’s hand around his neck dragging him to his knees.  Bob looked up, his face throbbing.  “Wait…  Please…  I don’t know what you’re-”

“Shut the fuck up!”  Burt yelled as he pulled his scalpel out and put it too Bob’s right eye.

Bob went silent.  The fear gripped him and if he had not just peed he would have soiled his pants.

Ernie leaned in.  “Alright asshole, now we want the truth about the deed and the money.”

Bob’s eyes shifted back and forth between his attackers.  “What are you talking about?!”

Ernie grinned.  “I see we are going to have to be a little more convincing.  Burt, take his eye.”

Bob began to scream the word “no” over and over again.  Burt just smiled.  After the day he was having, he needed to hurt someone.

None of them saw Hank coming.

****

Hank was very happy they kicked the door down.

Hank was happy because he had fallen asleep in the car and if they hadn’t, he probably would have slept through his big part in the scam.  Instead, he woke up just in time to watch them enter.  Hank opened the car door and stepped out.

Hank began to walk toward the house, yawning.  He shook his head.  He then began to stretch his arms out as he walked, working to get his blood flowing which was going to prove a difficult task.

Hank took off the stupid Stetson he was using to pretend to be Marshall and tossed it into the driveway.  As he closed in on the door, he could hear the screaming inside.  He stepped in quietly, coming into the kitchen behind Burt and Ernie.

He took a deep breath.

Hank grabbed Burt from behind, pulling the shocked man backwards, forcing him off balance.  Hank spun and turned to Burt.  His right hand went to the back of Burt’s head and slammed him, face first, into the refrigerator.

 The bald head struck with such force that it dented the refrigerator.

Burt dropped to the tile floor, blood dripping from his face.  He wasn’t unconscious but he might as well have been.

Ernie turned.  His eyes went to Burt on the ground holding his face and coughing then back to the Hank.  Hank stared back.

Ernie’s eyes narrowed.  “You picked the wrong one to take down first.”

Ernie flexed and Hank’s eyes went to Ernie’s massive arms and upper body and he couldn’t help agreeing.

Hank wished he hadn’t fallen asleep.

Ernie moved in and Hank brought up his guard, firing two quick, hard right-handed jabs into Ernie’s face.  Ernie had been struck enough times in his life to be used to this.  He walked through the blows without effect.  Ernie then came in with a hard hook to Hank’s right side abdomen.

The blow was epic, winding Hank slightly.  Hank lost his guard for that split second and Ernie, capitalized, bringing the same hand up with a huge shot to the bottom of Hank’s jaw.

Hank saw stars and stumbled backward finally losing his footing and falling to the carpeted floor of the living room.

Hank rolled backward trying to come back to his feet but Ernie’s one-two had done a number on him.

Desperation came into Hank’s head for the first time since he had been hired for the job.

 Am I really going to fuck this up?

Ernie was on top of Hank now, his right hand grabbing Hank’s ear to hold him while Ernie dropped the left down on Hank like a depth charge.  The blow caught the back of Hank’s shoulder and sent shockwaves through his body.  Ernie was stronger.

Stronger than anyone Hank had met.

Hank was in trouble and he knew it.  Ernie cocked his giant left fist back and Hank knew that if Ernie brought that fist down into the back of his head it was a done deal.  Hank had to do something.

Hank put all of his force into a hard hook to the side of Ernie’s right knee.  There was a pop and Ernie screamed in pain, releasing Hanks ear.  Hank had is opening, finally.  He rose with a right-cross to Ernie’s hard jaw line.  Ernie staggered and Hank followed through with a left-cross.

Ernie’s head whipped with the punch and a tooth flew across the room.

Ernie reeled backwards and Hank stepped in, putting his left hand into Ernie’s hair to steady his face as Hank wound up for the finisher.

Ernie was far from done.

Ernie threw his head forward, slamming his own forehead into Hank’s chin.

Hank let go and staggered and Ernie brought a big left-hook into the side of Hank’s face.  The blow spun Hank around and sent him ass over foot through Bob’s living room coffee table with a crash.

“Stay down, asshole!”  Ernie yelled as he turned and began to limp back toward the kitchen.

Hank shook his head and wiped the blood from his broken lip.  “Where the fuck, do you think you’re going?”

Hank scrambled into motion, taking two low running steps before throwing his whole body into the back of Ernie’s hurt knee.

 Ernie howled and fell backwards to the floor.  “MY FUCKING LEG!”

Hank pulled himself to his feet as Ernie pulled himself to a sitting position.  Ernie was wailing about his leg and clutching it in pain.  His attention was gone from Hank.

Hank stepped in, cocking his leg backward before kicking Ernie in the face like he was punting a football.

Ernie sprawled out backward.  He was done.

Hank pulled out his tobacco tin from his back pocket, breathing hard.  He flicked it twice to loosen it before grabbing a ridiculously large amount and jamming it into his jaw line.

“That wasn’t so bad.”  Hank mumbled to himself.

That’s when he caught the flash of movement out of his peripheral vision.  He tried to spin around to face it, but he was too late.

Burt had recovered and found is small but deadly tool.  The extremely sharp business end of the scalpel caught Hank’s shoulder and opened him up.  Blood poured out of the wound and soaked the arm off his button up.

“You know, the scalpel is the sharpest cutting tool there is?” Burt said as he waited for Hank’s next move, his hungry blade in front of him.  “Has to be, that’s why I use it.  It draws the most blood.”

Hank grabbed his arm and gritted his teeth.  He then looked back at Burt, blood running down his face from the cut the refrigerator had put in his forehead.  Burt’s right eye was also swollen shut.

“Jesus, what happened to your eye?”  Hank asked, suddenly, and Burt became enraged, charging Hank with the scalpel.

Hank was ready for this and moved to the right.  He had moved into the blind spot created by Burt’s swollen eye.  Burt lost sight of him.  This caused Burt to freeze and spin.

Burt spun into Hanks right hand.

The blow rocked Burt and he staggered.  Hank grabbed the back of his head and his belt and ran him forward, head first into the wall.  Burt’s head crashed into the drywall. His body went limp and he dropped to the floor.

Hank took a moment to catch his breath and look at his arm.  He then looked back at the two unconscious extortionists.  “Go back to Sesame Street, mother fuckers.”

Hank limped back into the kitchen where Bob was cowering in a corner.  “Here’s what you’re going to do.”

Bob looked up at him confused and Hank continued.  “You call the cops right now.  You tell them that you owe money to Leroy Simpson for an illegal game of poker you lost. You tell them that he sent these men to get the money and hurt you, and you tell them you will put this in a statement.”

Bob shook his head.  “He’ll kill me!”

Hank stared and shook his head.  “You are afraid of the guys I just ended?  You don’t get it, do you?  We are taking care of the problem.  Unless, of course, you want to become the problem?”

Hank’s hand balled into a fist and Bob shook his head.  “Good.  Now after they let you out, you will get a call from Savannah with instructions.”

Bob nodded.

Hank smiled.  “And not a word about me or Savannah, got it?”

Bob nodded.

Hank nodded then turned and walked out, picking up his hat out of the yard and heading to his car.

Bob waited two seconds before calling the cops in a frantic mess.

End Episode 9